Triple Threat

This morning I was reading the textbook for my next class “Spirit Releasement Therapy,” when I noticed that I could not focus on what I was reading. My mind kept wondering back to an exchange with a relative. I kept replaying alternate endings and imagining different conversations. Why couldn’t I let it go and concentrate on my reading? I kept looking at the words in front of me and thinking how I could use them to support my arguments, while I also knew that nothing I could present or say or do would make any difference. The I got it! I wasn’t fighting with my relative, I was fighting with myself! I was fighting with that image of him that I had inside. That was a fight I could never win, a fight that would never end, unless I ended it.

When I looked at it, it was so obvious. It was also really powerful. This thing I had inside of me, what I was really fighting, was a dark, cloudy angry mass that would give no ground and take no prisoners. That’s when I decided to try the Feeding You Demons technique. Hey, what could I lose? So I set up two chairs, facing each other, and sat in one.

First step: Locate the demon in you body and describe it. It took me a while to locate it. At first I saw a pale yellow cloud-like pole, sticking upwards out of my chest. Examining it a bit more revealed a dark mass about the size of a basketball, half in and half out of the center of my chest. The yellow thing passed right through the mass and exited out my  back, curving upward. It seemed like the mass and my body were impaled on an enormous fishhook. I was really only interested in the mass, so I focused on that: It appeared to be a soot-black, lumpy, cloud that was in constant motion. Inside there was an angry red glow, that I could glimpse through small breaks in the outer cloud cover. There were also little bolts of lightning sparking between the different lumps, and it felt angry. Now I knew what it looked like and felt like, it was time for the next step.

Now I projected the demon out from my chest into the other chair, and took a look at it. It looked pretty weird. It was still an angry, black, mass, but it had a head that appeared only as an outline, lit from behind. It had two, glowing, pinpoint eyes, but the rest of its face was featureless. The shape of the rest of the body resembled a jellyfish, a kind of lumpy, deflated-ball shape with indistinct things hanging down. It had some resemblance to paper Halloween decorations that have accordion-like arms and legs, but the appendages were not friendly at all. Not tentacles and not arms and legs, but a cross between the two.

Now I knew what it looked like, I looked into its eyes and asked it three questions. Then I switched places and “shape-shifted” into the demon and answered the three questions, then switched back. The point of the questions is to find out what the demon needs. Then I imagine my body turning into whatever the demon says it needs, and feeding it. As much as it wants. As it ate, I noticed it had almost robot-like arms with pincer-shaped claws on the ends, which it used to grab the stuff I was feeding it. After a while it turned white, but still seemed angry. So I did the whole, switching places and asking questions process, again. This time it became lighter and more fluffy, which meant that it had turned into an ally. So I took the next step of recruiting it to my side, as an ally, and then pulling it back into me. When I tried to pull it back to me, most of it came, but a bit remained. That bit looked like a charcoal sketch. It was stubborn and wouldn’t move. So I did the whole process again.

This time, after the feeding, a beautiful golden while star appeared in the center of the charcoal sketch. This was another ally. So I recruited it and pulled it inside. But, still, some of the sketch remained. Unfortunately I was out of time, so I had to leave it at that. I don’t recommend leaving things unfinished like that, but sometimes you have no choice, and no harm seems to have been done. And, on the flip side, when I look at the things the were annoying me this morning, I don’t react to them nearly as much. Almost not at all, and that’s nice.