Mutual Awakening #1

I am participating the Mutual Awakening practice with Patricia Albere. It’s a sixteen week, virtual course that seeks “to actively create a shared field of awakening that fosters greater human capacity for collaboration, creativity and healing.” We meet by phone and on-line with people throughout the world. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I’m still not sure what’s going to happen, but I’m along for the ride.

I signed up for this course on impulse. With my new practice, I was thinking I need to expand my circle of “being known.” That was awkward. What I mean is that to be successful in the alternative/spiritual health field, you to become known and recognized. You need to gain enough “street cred” so that people seek you out for sessions, and for speaking engagements and other events. I may not get much of that from this course. Seeing how it’s virtual, it doesn’t seem likely that anyone will get to know anyone else. We don’t generally use last names or even see each other. But you never know, there are off-line events that could lend some exposure.

We’ve had two sessions so far. During the first, I was in my car and could only listen. I didn’t realize that the course was to be largely interactive. (By law, around here you can’t use a phone while driving.) I was planning to only listen, but they kept pairing me up with people and expecting me to participate. Oops. Sorry guys. I arrived at my destination in time to participate in the very last interaction, idling by the roadside. I have a feeling that I didn’t get much out of the session because my attention was largely on the road.

This second session was a bit different. This time I was home, and I could shut myself in a room by myself and listen and respond without distractions.

There were two or three exercises in the second session. (I can’t remember if there was a final, short one at the end or not.) The exercises seemed to be designed to produce a shared consciousness between the two participants. One person spoke about what they were experiencing for a set period of time, (“I’m experiencing…”), then the other did the same, and then we exchanged statements starting with “We are experiencing…”

I didn’t know what to do with the first exercise. I ended up just doing a stream-of-consciousness thing, which probably sounded pretty random.

The second exercise was the same, but longer. This time other person went first. I interrupted her about half way through because I couldn’t hear what she was saying. That may have been a mistake, it seemed to completely destroy the flow. (Afterwards someone shared that she couldn’t understand a word her partner shared the entire exercise, and she just went with the rhythm of the sounds. I could have done that. Next time.) Fortunately, by the time we got to the “we” part, things seemed to recover and we got into an interesting grove.

From the very beginning, I was seeing stars in a nighttime sky. That came back stronger in the third part, and we both started feeding off that, back and forth. I don’t remember what was said, but in my mind there evolved a picture where I was floating high above a dark planet. The planet was on my left and was dark because the sun was behind it, silhouetting rings above me. The stars, all around me, were extremely bright and hard, multicolored jewels sharply defined against the absolute black. Away from the sun, and some distance away, was a fuzzy, white-ish disk. Maybe it was a planet, maybe something else. It seemed foggy and surrounded by fog.

This image grew as we shared impressions, back and forth. By the end, we were both floating above the planet, out there somewhere in space. At the very end I had an impression that I shared, but now I can’t remember. What I do remember is that there we were surrounded by a constellation of heavenly bodies. All grayish-white or ghost like. All different sizes and distances, and there was something significant about them—but I can’t remember what it was.

Was there some kind of shared experience, or were we just feeding off each other’s imaginations? Open question. Let’s just see what happens.

Damm the expense (or schedule)! Full speed ahead!

I am looking at this on-line course: Mutual Awakening with Patricia Albere. It's sixteen weeks of lecture and discussion. I'm thinking about it and seriously want to take it, but I'm a little afraid of the cost and commitment, but at the end of this post I'll probably have talked myself into it. I heard about it from an interview that I stubbled upon but can't find now. It's way too easy to lose something on the internet...

The main premise of the course, as I understand it, is that you can only go so far as an individual, but for the planet to awaken and us to evolve as a species, we need to learn how to work collectively. Not just work together, but to actually merge at a fundamental level and begin to experience the oneness we all strive for. This resonates with me. As soon as I heard that I realized that I only wake up in the presence of others, working by myself kills my spirit. Connecting with the right people is what life is all about. It doesn't have to be face to face, as long as it's real time. And it really has to be connecting, on some level, just bitching or complaining or gossiping really is not where it's at. No, every conversation doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, I can be as silly as anyone. But when you are true to yourself, there's a certain ring of honesty that comes through, no matter what you're saying, that doesn't leave your listeners with a bad taste in their mouths.

I have also had some amazing experiences in group training and interactions that just could not have happened in any kind of self-study or meditation. There was on time at a seminar where I had a moment of, telepathy? with a zen monk I was talking to. We had finished talking and had both turned away to sit down when I had the distinct feeling that she had said something to me. So I turned back and she was looking at me, with her eyes a bit wide, and I said, "I thought you said something..." She said no, but it was clear she had gotten the same message. That kind of thing doesn't happen on your own.

More to the point, perhaps, I had an experience, in one seminar, with an exercise that made it feel like my partner and I merged into one being. That's something you don't soon forget. It was such a simple exercise too. If you were trying to form a team, one that had to do globally important work, what would it be like if they were all able to feel as one, even if only briefly?

The class would be difficult, time wise. It's on the same night as choir rehearsals, and the first class is on the same day as the open-house introduction for my hypnosis courses. (Why does everything have to be on Tuesdays!?) I should be able to make to make it work though. The classes are from 5pm to 7pm and rehearsals don't start til 7:30. Plenty of time, if I eat during the discussion portion. (Ug!) I would need to manage that for sixteen weeks!

So I have lot's of reasons to blow off the course, money, time, but, on the plus side, I would be meeting a bunch of new people and, hopefully, forging some new friendships and, perhaps, extending my credibility as a healer and getting more clients? I know, ever the mercenary. But if my goal is to help people, I can't do that if nobody knows about me.

And, the thing is, I really do want to connect with people. That is something that, for most of my life, I've always avoided, but now, that I've finally gotten over whatever fear was holding me back in that area, I just want to throw myself into it, whole hog. Damm the expense (or schedule)! Full speed ahead! (See, what did I tell you?)