Damm the expense (or schedule)! Full speed ahead!

I am looking at this on-line course: Mutual Awakening with Patricia Albere. It's sixteen weeks of lecture and discussion. I'm thinking about it and seriously want to take it, but I'm a little afraid of the cost and commitment, but at the end of this post I'll probably have talked myself into it. I heard about it from an interview that I stubbled upon but can't find now. It's way too easy to lose something on the internet...

The main premise of the course, as I understand it, is that you can only go so far as an individual, but for the planet to awaken and us to evolve as a species, we need to learn how to work collectively. Not just work together, but to actually merge at a fundamental level and begin to experience the oneness we all strive for. This resonates with me. As soon as I heard that I realized that I only wake up in the presence of others, working by myself kills my spirit. Connecting with the right people is what life is all about. It doesn't have to be face to face, as long as it's real time. And it really has to be connecting, on some level, just bitching or complaining or gossiping really is not where it's at. No, every conversation doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, I can be as silly as anyone. But when you are true to yourself, there's a certain ring of honesty that comes through, no matter what you're saying, that doesn't leave your listeners with a bad taste in their mouths.

I have also had some amazing experiences in group training and interactions that just could not have happened in any kind of self-study or meditation. There was on time at a seminar where I had a moment of, telepathy? with a zen monk I was talking to. We had finished talking and had both turned away to sit down when I had the distinct feeling that she had said something to me. So I turned back and she was looking at me, with her eyes a bit wide, and I said, "I thought you said something..." She said no, but it was clear she had gotten the same message. That kind of thing doesn't happen on your own.

More to the point, perhaps, I had an experience, in one seminar, with an exercise that made it feel like my partner and I merged into one being. That's something you don't soon forget. It was such a simple exercise too. If you were trying to form a team, one that had to do globally important work, what would it be like if they were all able to feel as one, even if only briefly?

The class would be difficult, time wise. It's on the same night as choir rehearsals, and the first class is on the same day as the open-house introduction for my hypnosis courses. (Why does everything have to be on Tuesdays!?) I should be able to make to make it work though. The classes are from 5pm to 7pm and rehearsals don't start til 7:30. Plenty of time, if I eat during the discussion portion. (Ug!) I would need to manage that for sixteen weeks!

So I have lot's of reasons to blow off the course, money, time, but, on the plus side, I would be meeting a bunch of new people and, hopefully, forging some new friendships and, perhaps, extending my credibility as a healer and getting more clients? I know, ever the mercenary. But if my goal is to help people, I can't do that if nobody knows about me.

And, the thing is, I really do want to connect with people. That is something that, for most of my life, I've always avoided, but now, that I've finally gotten over whatever fear was holding me back in that area, I just want to throw myself into it, whole hog. Damm the expense (or schedule)! Full speed ahead! (See, what did I tell you?)