I won't post the full transcript, it's nearly two hours, and I believe I've already posted the past lives portion anyway.
What was most significant to me about this was how hard it was to get information from the subconscious. Lots of stuttering and thrashing around. It was like something was doing it's best to prevent certain information from coming out. I could think the words without trouble, but as soon as I tried to say them, the muscles in my face would lock up. It was exhausting. The practitioner noticed this and tried to find out what was going on (I have paraphrased the questions and condensed this section for length):
Why is it hard to speak?
We don't want him to speak. We don't want you to know. He's not supposed to find out.
Why are you there, in his body?
We are not in the body. We are everywhere.
Why?
He's not supposed to know. He doesn't want do know. He doesn't want to know what he's done.
What is your purpose?
To help him. He doesn't know how to handle it.
Who are you working for? Who are you serving?
Him. He asked us to do this.
Who?
He did. To protect him. What he knows, what he's done. We have an agreement.
Who are you?
His friends. From long ago. From before life, from before time.
We keep him alive. Time is running out, for everyone.
Who are you?
I. don't. know. you. You don't need to know! It's not your time yet.
Where are you?
We exist all around. Where all things come together. We help when we can. To keep things together, things aligned.
What things?
Life, spirit, balance, energy. Some things need to be done. Balance needs to be restored before it's too late. …ending or need to understand. More need to understand, there's more than what they see. It's beyond their gods and fears and demons. Those are all made up. Their morals are killing the planet. Those that don't understand.
What kind of morals?
Use it up. Use up whatever you have. Use up everything till there's nothing left. Us versus them, there is no them.
Who is 'us'?
All entities.
Versus?
There is nothing else. That is the illusion. And that is why people fight.
What is your purpose, here on this planet?
No, no, no no…! <sobbing>
I find this very interesting, but also frustrating, because at this point the practitioner worked to make me feel better rather than find out what was going on. This happened a couple of times in the session, and whenever we got close to whatever it was I don't want to know, we veered off into trying to fix it.
This section is the most significant for me. It points out that I need to understand, not hide from, whatever it was that happened:
Can the subconscious help?
Fear and hate and darkness. It's darkness. So much dark, so much hate, so much death. It happened. He did it, he did. He needs to understand. Darkness. Darkness to come. Darkness of the soul. Out is through. Face or deny.
What is he hiding?
So much pain. We will help. He doesn't want to know. He needs to know. Stop fighting.
Any Advice?
There is nothing to do but give in. Get used to it, you are not what you think you are.
Who is he?
Someone much more powerful and dangerous. Very dangerous. <sobbing> He is still there. They are still there. Still remain. Death is not the end. All is forgiven. Forgive yourself. It was a lesson to learn. And freedom to know the dark from the light. Can't know the light without the dark. Accept what is. Be what he is. You are they, they are you. They understand. You have suffered enough. It's time.
It's time to take the first steps. to light fear fear keeping him where he is. Trust. Can't be as bad as it was.
This still gives me serous chills when I read it. The practitioner asked for advice and got this bit. (It really doesn't feel like me, even at the time I remember that it felt odd.) (The odd grammar is on the recording. LOL):
Keep trying your route. You have much to go. Color, white light behind you. You have many behind you. You are not the first. There's a line of people behind you. The first one's a male, there's many more behind you. They are you, and you are growing. You are on the right path. You need to open. Fear. You need to open. Cocoon, tightly closed. You must transform, to be a beautiful self. You are larger than you seem.
So what I take from this session is a note to self: while it's always good to strive to healing, feeling good in the moment is not necessarily the best path to healing. Sometimes we need to struggle to reach that place of healing. As a practitioner, I will always need to use my instincts and experience to know when best to push the client and when to back off. But we practitioners can to a disservice to clients by rushing to "take care" of them, at the expense of having them experience what they need to in order to heal.
P.S. On proofreading this, I noticed that "they" were also protecting the practitioner. So, perhaps, trying to find out more would have been completely pointless.
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