This morning I did some Shadow work. This is a Shamanic thing. The Shadow is those parts of yourself that you aren't aware of or don't want to acknowledge. "Shadow," get it? I think it's a great term. The more I think about it the more I like it. What is a shadow? It's something that always follows you everywhere. You can never get rid of it nor can you touch it. It dogs your every step, displaying who you are with no bias or pity.
It's easy to get confused when you first hear about Shamanic traditions, since many of the terms have become loaded with sinister connotations over the centuries. For instance, in Christian tradition, Dark is evil and Light is good, and anyone who deals with "dark" or "shadowy" things must be evil or, at least, misguided. Shamanic tradition, on the other hand, recognizes that everything has it's positive (light) and negative (dark) aspects. Like the two sides of a coin, you can't have one without the other, and that true health and happiness is the result of integrating both aspects of our nature to achieve balance. One important thing that Western medicine has done for the world is to banish the idea that disease is "evil." Can you imagine what medicine would be like if we continued to believe the medieval notions of disease as "dark" and only evil sorcerers could study it? Unfortunately, many faith traditions have decided that since Light (God) is Good, everything non-Light is Bad, and therefore should be banished completely. This results in endless suffering for their followers as they constantly struggle with their, all to human, natures.
So, the first thing you need to do when you step into the Shamanic world, is reexamine all your thoughts and beliefs around words like Light, Dark Shadow, Spirt, and Demon, for starters, and be open to new ways of thinking about spirituality. I don't pretend to be a Shaman, that requires much more training and experience than I have time for at this point in my life, but I have had some training in that area and have done some Journeying. Eagle Spirit Ministry says this about shaman:
"A shaman is a healer who has walked up to the Underworld gates of his/her own personal hell and then walked in. He/she has confronted and conquered his/her self-created demons, such as fear, insanity, loneliness, self-importance, and addictions, has unflinchingly confronted his/her own Shadow self as well as the evil of others, and can successfully deal with forces of darkness equally with those of light."
Over my years I have been working to deal with the Shadow aspects of my personal hell. We had a discussion in class about the concept that a healer has to heal herself before she can be of service to others. One opinion is that is a contemporary, Western idea. I question the contemporary part, as there were serious questions as far back as the Middle Ages about whether sacraments, like marriages, performed by priests who were later defrocked or otherwise found to be "in sin," were valid. Both Western science and the Church have come to the conclusion that it's the work that matters, not the worker. I can't help but wonder. Since we have pedophile priests and doctors more concerned with their reputations and incomes than their patients, I can't help but wonder if we need to rethink that whole idea. (Perhaps if successfully dealing with one's own personal hell should be a prerequisite for any healing work, we'd see fewer scandals, in all professions.)
This morning I did some Shadow work by myself. It definitely would have been better to work with someone, but I didn't have anyone available, I had some stuff that was really bothering me, so I took a shot at working it out on my own. I worked with an exercise called "Feeding your Demons." Hold on, what did I say about leaving your definitions at the door? I know that, to the uninitiated, that sounds like a witch heading down to the dungeon with fresh kittens or something, but that's not it at all. First of all, understand that a "demon" is a Shadow aspect of yourself. Remember, Shadow isn't necessarily bad or evil, it's just a part of you that is unrecognized or denied, and you can no more get rid of it than you can have a quarter with only one side. So, what *can you do?
Well, you can ignore and deny, (If you've ever ignored a medical condition, you know how well that worked out.) or you can understand, accept and turn it from a foe to an ally. That's what Feeding Your Demons is all about. While it seems perfectly logical to make the best of what you've got, beliefs about that Right and Acceptable can get in the way. This does not mean that if a part of me that wants to murder, I must accept being a murderer. That is absolutely not true. (Though, if you do have that in your Shadow aspects, you need to deal with it in some way, or it will come out on its own, in ways you probably won't like.) Demons, which could be called "Issues" in a different context, are manifestations of something underneath that, through this kind of work, you can uncover and resolve. Thus bringing you more control over your life, and more empathy and compassion for others in similar situations.
In my case, the issue, or "demon," I started with turned out to not be very important, for it quickly morphed as I worked through the exercise. This work turned out to be a process of discovery, uncovering and releasing aspects of the issue that I hadn't known about. Because of this, and because I ran out of time, (Another problem I have when I'm working by myself: My mind tends to wander!) I never quite completed the exercise. But I learned a lot, and I felt and slept better when I was done, so it achieved its purpose.
We never conquer our Shadow, or slay all our demons. But by facing them, and walking a spiritual or Shamanic path we give ourselves a measure of peace and personal freedom that is simply not available any other way.
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