A new door

Here we go again. I'm a bit unsure if I want to share this. It's a bit personal and I'm not sure if this is the person I want the world to see. It's one thing to read about other people's experiences with channeling and messages from...elsewhere, but it's quite a different kettle of fish when it happens to me. What follows is what spill out. I corrected spelling and other erros, and formatted the result (As a result of this, I'm beginning to see that there's something that I had no idea existed before. I don't know what it is, but it's like walking into your house and discovering a door in the wall that you never noticed before.):

I’d like to know about my left leg and foot. What is going on there? Why does it feel curled up and distorted?

You can see what is going on. It's not what you think it is. You never know that to think. You can’t find the answers on your own. You have to work with other people. You need to ask. Ask the people at church, talk to them, meet with them. They can help you find your path, even though it isn’t theirs. There is no way to do this on your own. 

You don’t want to hear that. You want to be the lone genius, who puts out all the special knowledge. You must absorb to return. You must read to know what to write. You must be with people to understand what needs to be said, and to whom. Moving forward means becoming one with those around your. Even those you don’t like. Even those you don’t agree with. Even those that rub you the wrong way. Even those who think you’re nuts. Even those you hate. You still hate some, don’t you? 

I can’t see that. 

You will. 

I can’t find the right way to do this. 

You will. 

I don’t know what to do next.

You will see, you find out as you go. I will help you. 

How do i start? 

Go to the place you think most important. 

Where is that? I don’t know. 

You must see. Take a chance and see what happens. 

What kind of chance? Go up on the mountain? 

Yes. You don’t want to go.  Right. You think it means something that you can’t accept. 

I know it means something, I just don’t know what. What does it mean? 

You think that it means walking into a trap. They all hate you and you must always be on your guard. Not necessarily. They can’t hurt you. You are always safe. You relish the uncertainty. You want mystery. You don’t want answers because that would spoil the mystery. Your think that will leave you with nothing to hope for. There is always more, there is no end in sight. Don’t take a chance on missing the way out of hiding. You have to ask to visit. It’s not that hard, and will be glad you did, no matter what the outcome. 

I will feel dumb, stupid. 

Why? Must everything in life be certain? Can’t you take a chance on anything? Must everything be spelled out in advance? You have to take a chance, if you expect others to also. At some point you have to take that leap or step of faith. Without it you are forever trapped within the walls of what you know and understand. You can’t grow unless you allow yourself space to grow. Within the bounds you have set for yourself, there is only what you already know, what you already have. It is only outside the bounds that you find the unknown and the exciting. Your outcome will will necessarily be beyond what you can imagine, and can only be found outside of what you know. Don’t limit yourself to the familiar, the known, the expected, what everybody else knows. To be extraordinary, you must do extraordinary things, and extraordinary things are risky. Try and fail, step and stumble, leap and fall on your face. There is no trial without error and the is no learning without mistakes. reach out, take your lumps and keep on trying, this is the process of being alive. You know how mind numbing and stultifying is it to play safe. Risk is exciting. Chance is exciting. Safe is boring. You know this, yet you still hesitate. You don’t want to die. You don’t even know why you are afraid of. Somehow, they are going to make you feel bad. Like that’s the end of the world and no one will ever like you again, is that it?  

You always try to eliminate the fear. Without fear, there is no risk, no danger. 

Is it necessary to understand the fear? 

Not necessarily. In some ways it can be useful to know what your are facing, so you can face it head on. That’s the best way to deal with it. Facing it head-on allows you to see it for what it is, and that’ the best way for it to be gone.  But for every fear you vanquish, there will be another one behind it. It will be a step up, true, but they will always be there, so get used to it. Keep fighting. Keep understanding. 

Fear, and fear of fear, can block you from seeing what’s really going on. You get so focused on the fear that you can’t see the trees for the forest, so to speak. Take the chance, reach out, ask, try, and reach the life at the end of the tunnel. 

You don’t believe, you don’t trust, you don’t accept what I’m telling you. You don’t want to see what’s in front of you. You love to put others down for ignoring the obvious but you are comfortable doing the same thing. You don’t want to be seen as embodying all that “stuff” what people make fun of. Ask and you shall receive, but you have to ask People. There is where the challenge is. They will think what they think, and they know what they already know about you. Perhaps they are just waiting for you to open the subject first. You can’t receive unless you are open and being open is being vulnerable.  You will take some licks, but don’t let that be your excuse for closing down. It’s not your fault that they attack you. It’s not your problem that others can’t see what you are offering. And you are not wrong because they attack you. You already know, that when dealing with pain and fear, the best way out is through. You will gain acceptance from those that matter to you and will help you in your growth. Once you carve you way through the wall of fear of fear, and fear of pain. Disapproval can hurt. Rejection can hurt. Rejection simply means that you’re looking for approval in the wrong places. 

It may be time to start looking at those groups that you are too uppity to consider now. they are too wacko for you to want to be associated with, with philosophies that you can’t accept. Wake up brother, you are already pretty far out on the limb. The stuff you’re doing and what you are doing right now. This. Who are you to say these people don’t know something you don’t? Why should anyone accept this if you can’t accept them? Or are you too full of BS to face it? Looks like that’s enough for now, you are coming apart.