Things I don't want to remember

In my most recent regression, I encountered blocks around something that I did not want to remember. Today I will share with you a, call it a dream, of what it was I didn’t want to remember. The dream happened in third person so I didn’t have to re-experience or take responsibility for what happened.

The first thing I saw was a landscape smothered in dark clouds. The only light came from fountains and rivers of molten rock. Bright red, reflecting off of thick, poisonous black clouds billowing out of tortured ground, rended by unspeakable power, thoughtlessly unleashed.

Moving backwards in time, I see a man. A powerful man. Setting himself on a high, exalted, place above the people he is supposed to care for. He has the power to bend tremendous forces to his will, but he doesn’t have the maturity to use uses these forces wisely. He was given the power and position well before he was ready to handle it. He wasn’t taught how to solve problems, except through force.

The ruling body of this place had grown lazy and self-centered. They spent most of their time thinking about esoteric issues and internal concerns that only mattered to the increasing isolated elite. They spent little of their time dealing with the affairs of their country. They had been slowly withdrawing from public view for centuries, and their presence and numbers had now shrunk to the point where the common people had begun to wonder if they even existed. Or had ever existed. Into this world comes this relatively young newcomer.

Raised in the isolated and insulated world of the elites, he had been schooled in their ancient knowledge, but absorbed only the power and not the wisdom. This didn’t matter much in their insular world, where his colleagues and the natural safeguards of their society kept him in check. His immaturity was tolerated and indulged, to a certain extent, but he wasn’t allowed any real power or say in affairs. He grew frustrated.

Then something happened in the outside world. Perhaps an external threat to the country, or a natural disaster, or maybe centuries of neglect by the rulers had caused to social and political structures of the country to unravel to the point of anarchy. Whatever it was, it didn’t draw much concern from the elites, they didn’t see it as enough of a threat to them to pull their attention away from their own internal affairs. The young man, seeing as he was largely locked out of the “great affairs” of his brethren, was interested. Maybe he saw it as a way to prove himself, or maybe it was just a distraction from his frustrating existence. In any case, he had himself a project, and, since nobody else could bother themselves, he was left into the outside world without any “adult supervision.”

Things did not go well. The common people did not listen to him, they pretty much ignored him, in fact. They didn’t believe he was who he said he was or that his people even existed. They believed he was just a fool and his “powers” were some kind of trick. His anger and frustration grew. The harder he pushed, the harder they resisted. He tried to force the issue, and they openly defied him. He simply couldn’t communicate. He had no empathy and his attempts to persuade came off as arrogant and condescending.

Finally, his frustration boiled over. Why wouldn’t they LISTEN? This was IMPORTANT but they ignored him, belittled him, and made fun of him. No matter how many “demonstrations” he did, they refused to believe how powerful he really was, and would not follow his advice. Then, one day, he just let loose. It’s really hard to describe what he did. It wasn’t like you see in movies, there were no light beams or explosions. It was more like he gathered all the people and buildings in the country in his “hands” (a sort of warping of space and time) and crushed and pulverized them all together like dried leaves until there was nothing left but dust. Then he slammed what was left down onto the earth with such force that shattered the very foundations of the continent.

This, finally, got the attention of his fellow elites, but it was too late. Everyone was dead and magma, boiling with poisonous gasses, was spraying from enormous cracks in the shattered ground. Millions died that day. Women, children, cats, dogs, every living thing bigger than a microbe. The entire civilization and it’s history, wiped from existence in a fit of incompetent pique.

That’s what I don’t want to be remember and be responsible for.