Healing and Being a Healer

Today’s meditation had two interesting things in it.

The first was that I found myself looking in on people I know. I used to think that was cool, way back in the beginning, but now I feel it’s more like an invasion of privacy and I avoid it. However, this time it was insistent. I Ended up throwing comfort at them, not knowing what else to do. Perhaps they were in a sad way.

I one particular case, I kept seeing more details about their life. Difficulties and other things I really don’t want to know about. But it was insistent and, apparently, there is some reason that I need to know it. I tried but could not get a reason why. Perhaps I just need to understand them better.

At times, I think that being a healer means “keeper of secrets.” I just get so much information that I really can’t share, but I need to hear it to do my job. in some ways it would be nice if I could forget everything I hear. But the experience I gain does help other people. So I suppose that’s part of the price I pay for doing what I do.

The other thing that I experienced revolved around healing. At one point, I started feeling warmth in parts of my torso. I normally just go with these things and don’t ask questions. Not today. Today I asked. I was told that I was feeling energy, and it was uneven because of my blocks. If I let the block go, then the energy would be able to flow to all parts of my body, especially my hands and feet. They have not been getting their fail share of energy so far. The lightbulb went on: I’ve been have a problem with cold hands and especially feet since the weather turned.

Next I asked about the blocks. I got that I needed to release my hate. My hate for my body. I had always undervalued my body, and, despite the fact that it has served me very well for many years, it was never good enough for me. All this came from someplace so deep that I wasn’t really aware of it at the conscious level at all. But once I started thinking about it, it did make sense. Over the last couple of years I have begun to notice, accept and acknowledge how well my body has served me and how well it has held up. It has useful attributes that I did my best to ignore. But now I am starting to use them rather than deny them.

This litany went on for a while, covering the many ways I thought poorly of my physical being. I don’t remember most of it now, which I think is a good thing, but afterwards things must have cleared, because energy tingling and heat began to flow wider and more evenly throughout my upper body. It slowly spread up and down my right side and worked it’s way down my right arm into my hand. After a while it was throughout my right side and somewhat over to my left.

When it reached my left shoulder, it felt hot and cold at the same time. Finally it got to the point where all my bones above the hips felt incandescent white and glowing. The message was that it was rebuilding and restructuring my bones to be stronger and healthier and with advanced functions (whatever that means). It eventually did reach all my bones, but the ones below my hips seemed dimmer.

Then the focus moved to my teeth. There was a long monologue about how the fillings in my teeth needed to be restructured and their energy re-aligned. That the materials had been removed from their place and their energy had be twisted and distorted by being mined, refined and turned into fillings. So all of that needed to be sorted out and harmonized. I felt a lot of heat and pressure around my back teeth at this time. This went on for quite some time. Other things began to happen after that, but it was clearly time to wrap up and get on with my day.

I seem to be having a lot of focus on healing right now. Getting myself ready for what’s to come, I suppose.