Today I had an interesting meditation. I did it while listening to The Crossing Point of Light A Workshop with Dr Steven Greer Maybe it’s odd to do that. Perhaps I should listen to music or just silence. I find that different things trigger different experiences, like when I watched that documentary about the oldest cities in the word and it triggered memories of living in them. This, not so much. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. A lot of these UFO things focus on fear and conspiracies. This one, less so, but it was still pretty dry and not too interesting to me.
When I meditate, it seems that I go through a period of calming down, then a blank time, then a part where it seems like my body is asleep but my mind is awake. Today, nothing interesting happened until I was in the third part.
I have generally found the third part to be a bit frustrating. It seems to me that since my body is in this really relaxed state, I should be able to go on some amazing mind trips. But I can’t, as a rule. Today was no exception, though I can’t be sure why, since odd things have been happening or not happening of late.
For lack of anything better to do, I set about doing some healing of my left leg. There’s really nothing technically wrong with it, but lately it I’m getting really odd vibes about it. It feels like the foot want to curl under when I’m not looking, causing twisted ankles if I’m not careful. And, from time to time, I gett the feeling that it’s not there. Like I’d lost it at some point. This makes me a little nervous, I don’t know what this might mean. What it might cause to happen. At any rate, today I was letting the energy flow into my leg and trying to do something about, what looked to me like “stuck” energy, when I felt someone next to me.
That someone was sad and lonely and seemed to be crying. It could have been someone I know, maybe not. I had no idea what to do except give her all the comfort and love I could. It seemed like a “her.” I tried to make her feel loved. I did everything I could for a while, and then she was gone. At the point I decided it was time to wrap it up and get on with my day.
I wonder if I just make this stuff up. This entity shows up, from time to time, sometimes very affectionate, sometime aloof. This is the first time it was sad. It seems like a woman, but not always. There are periods when it disappears for a time. At those times, if I look very carefully, I can sometimes just make it out. It’s very faint. No way to know if I’m just imagining it or not. Perhaps it’s attention is somewhere else. This is the first time I’ve see it sad. And it was very sad. I could feel the despair and loneliness as strong as my own. I want to think I helped, but I expect I’ll never know. I’ll never know if it’s even attached to a living person. And so we’re back to that annoying question of, Is this real?
Well, I’ve spent most of my life saying that anything that made me uncomfortable, didn’t exist, was just my imagination. Now I’m just going to go with it. It is what it is and it means what it means, and someday I’ll find out what that is, or I won’t. Fine either way.
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