Life in Mexico

I have been guided to do a series of meditations/regressions on the discomfort I have in my stomach and lower abdomen. Today’s regression had some features I haven’t seen or heard of before. Though, frankly, the unusual seems to be usual these days.

My first impression was of a wooden desk chair, oak, in a small office. The office was mostly empty except for the chair and a desk. The light was dim and dusky. The one window had venetian blinds that were closed, with light leaking around them. The desk had on it a blotter, some papers, a stapler and some water, (a glass?) The time seemed early 40’s. It was all very Guy Nior, complete with a dame. She was sketchy, like a half completed drawing in colored pencils, and was mostly out of the frame. That scene hung on for a little while, then zoomed away. Not super fast. The image just moved away until there was nothing but blackness, everywhere.

Next I heard jingling, a quiet jingle. Like jewelry, Spanish jewelry, dangling earrings. Now I was seeing a young woman’s ear. Her face was turned away from me and all I could see was her ear and neck. Her black hair was tied up and decorated, with flowers, I think. She was wearing elaborate gold earrings the tinkled gently as she moved.

I looked down. The floor was dark wood, very shiny. I was wearing boots and tight, elaborately decorated pants and a short bolero jacket. A wealthy Mexican caballero from, 1700’s? I had short black hair. I think my outfit was dark green, but it was hard to tell in the candlelight. The woman was my wife and she was dressed in dark red, full skirt with ruffles and low cut bodice, typical of that era. We were both young and had two children, a girl and a boy. My son was there. He looked to be about 4-5 years old and was dressed in a smaller version of what I had on. I didn’t see my daughter.

There was a party going on. I heard people talking. To my left I saw a set of French doors that were closed, but I could only see darkness on the other side. I had the impression that there were other French doors that were open and led to a garden. There were lights outside and people were walking around, enjoying the warm night.

Skip forward to a dinner scene. I’m seeing a long table with large, silver, candelabras, filled with dishes and food. My father is at the head of the table, the part furthest away from me. There are lots of people around the table they all seem to be talking and having a good time. To the left of the table is a large fireplace, richly carved. There is something odd about this image, it’s fuzzy and dreamy looking.

I realize that I’m looking down on the table from a second-floor balcony. I’m thinking that it’s odd for a dinning room to have a balcony going around three sides with doors going into bedrooms. More like an entry hall. Then I notice that the floor I’m standing on is not well made, with poor quality wood, weathered, and warped. In fact the whole room looks old and dirty, with the wood gray with age. Then I get that the dinner party is not real, at least not any more. It’s a image from another place and time, and all the people there that I cared about are now dead. I was seeing it in my grief over what I had lost and my inability to move on. That was all there was. I left that person standing on the balcony, crying.

When I asked why I was seeing this, I got that I had left my heart with those people and have never yet reclaimed it. Now it was time to do so. That thought gives me chills even now. Also, my wife in that life is someone I know now. I don’t currently know her very well, but I knew there was some connection. It’s always a question about something like this, should I bring it up? I don’t think so, not unless something changes.

During the last section, I experienced distinct physical reactions. Starting with tingling and chills running up my back to strong jerking and waving motions of my arms and head. And some tears as well.