Soul Fragments

Today I as transcribing a session from last week. but it was fascinating. And very stressful. The client had had a difficult life and the session didn't follow the "rules" in just about every respect. Which required that I be constantly out of my comfort zone, trying to figure out, "how do I handle this?" and what to do next. After over two hours, my attention and concentration wear a bit thin, but you just can't leave the guy hanging, so you have to continue until you get to a place where you can wrap things up.

The session was confusing at the time, but after transcribing it, it started to make more sense. Partly because some of the things I couldn't understand at the time, were clear on the recording. I now see a certain narrative here and get the impression that the subconscious wanted certain things done, and we had to continue until we got there.

When he entered his first past life, he was walking through a forest. He was a young man wearing a toga, sandals and a green hat. When I asked him to go to where he lived, he went to a small building on the edge of a cliff.  He felt this wasn't a place to live, but work. Going inside, he saw a single room with a table and chairs, a single window and a set of stairs. While we were talking about the inside of the building, he skipped ahead to falling. Apparently, he had climbed up stairs to the window and jumped out, thinking he would fly. He was committing ritual suicide as a sacrifice for his people, who believed that his spirit would fly around and be their protector. He was chosen, somehow, he didn't volunteer. 

After he died, he flew around the valley for a while and, then over a stone monument, down a dark tunnel or portal, and into a huge cavern. The cavern contained nothing but a huge, dark, statue of a man in a robe. Nothing happened for an unknown amount of time, then he saw a "light path" that was a way out, leading him to a "light place." It's blindingly bright and there's a voice saying that the suicide thing was just part of the culture of that time and place. The place "felt like an afterlife place."

There were other beings there, which were bright, white and their faces were too bright to see any features. He no longer had a body, just a bunch of light that was held together with a kind of robe. He seemed to be communicating with the beings around him, but he couldn't understand what they were saying. Next he left that place, traveling through space on a light beam "freeway," toward a start-like ball of light with lots of the "freeways" coming out of it in all directions. He could see beings of all different kinds riding on the freeways. The "star" was a station where he had to get off. A lot of other beings get off there as well. All the beings look the same, like "upside-down exclamation points." He follows them up some stairs and to some really bright place where he seems to be trying to fly. He didn't have any more to say about that, so I called the subconscious to come forward.

We couldn't get directly to the subconscious. His conscious mind stayed in between, interpreting everything the subconscious said. At first he saw a big, ornate, book. The pages flipped to a certain place and a hand pointed to a passage on the page. Then a voice said: "This is the start of fear." Another page, pointing again: "then you added to it," another page, "and here," another page "and here is where you gave up." "And you have been giving up since." 

What should he do about that? "Stop giving up." Mocking: "It's hopeless."

We explored the fear for a bit, getting phrases like: "Give up, hopeless" and "Doesn't have to try or feel"

Where did the fear come from? What is holding the fear in place?

Here he jumped to a past life, he was being stabbed in the side by a witch doctor as an offering, while others danced around him. He was someone who arrived there on a ship and looked different than the people who will killing him. Soon he dies, floats up and sees them hack his body apart as it lays on a stone table. A very messy business. The purpose of seeing this scene is that this was the place where he added hopelessness to fear. I called the subconscious again. This time he answered the first question in a different voice. At the next question, he switched back to his normal voice and jumped into another scene where he was begin stabbed again. Next he experienced being stabbed over and over again with swords and died. It wasn't clear here, but it seemed like he had been stabbed to death many, many times.

Why did he need to see this? "Giving up on hope, giving up on humans"  and he would "go numb and check out."

I called the subconscious again. When I asked if I was talking to the subconscious he said "Yes" in a different voice, then "No…He's there" in his normal voice.

What was the purpose of that life? "Have to overcome there" 

He says that "There" is either a swirling mass of starts or a stove heating element (!)

Next: "I can't get to here if I've been from over there."

Is part of (him) still over there?  "Yes"

Was leaving part of him behind done on purpose? Now he sees a prison cell that he needs to get out of.

How can (he) get out of the cell? (starts laughing) He says that all he has to do is open the door and walk out, and then he can walk from there to here. Which he does, through an interesting landscape.

When I asked, he said that were more pieces of himself scattered around. I had him gather all the pieces. Then he saw them merge into a ball of bright light that he had to "catch" and pull inside. But it wouldn't hold still. When he did grab it, it pulled him through space, past beautiful clouds of different colors, to another star-like "station," and then on to a different planet. Once there, he dived into a tunnel, to retrieve a part of him that was "dead." The ball of light finds it really hard to drag this part out, because it's dead and clinging to something. The ball of light turns dull as it struggles to pull the "dead"part. I tell him to release whatever's hanging on to the "dead" part, and it then turns into a skeleton and walks over and start fondling and coveting the ball of light. More questions reveal that the skeleton is not part of him, but it's something else that wants him. He had given his power to it at one point. He wasn't clear on why, something about being invited. I told him to command his power back, and the skeleton was angry, but let go. Then the ball changed to a turquoise color and was now complete. We did a little more work here and, after he rescinded the skeleton's permission to exist, he found himself in a "light room" surrounded by blue sky. Why was here there? "It's just a nice place." I asked if there was any more he need to do, he said no, so we did a little more housekeeping and then I counted him out.

Whether you accept the existence of past lives or not, this is really fascinating look inside someone's head. I see it as a hero's journey, as he struggles to reassemble the fragments of his personality shattered by early trauma. You can see this solely as one person using symbol and metaphor to heal himself, or as something galactic in scope, playing out over many lifetimes. I prefer the latter view because that view provides avenues for healing that the materialist view does not.