When I started talking about beliefs, I thought it would be one post, maybe a bit long, but just one post. But the more I write the more I discover how much there is to say on the subject. One reason is that so many of the people I talk to don't get what I'm trying to say.
The first part of this problem is the "wallpaper" nature of our beliefs. Wallpaper is something that you see so often that you stop "seeing" it at all. You only notice it the day it's not there, and then you may not be able to figure out what's different, you just know something's changed. Beliefs are like that. We've been living with them, every day, for so many years, that we accept them as "just the way the world is." So it can take some effort to get yourself to recognize that beliefs aren't some externally imposed force, like gravity, that you can do nothing about and applies equally to everyone. Beliefs are personal, arbitrary, and can very dramatically from one person to the next. Yes, there are a lot of beliefs that are shared among groups and families, but each person has their own individual version, unique to them. It's telling that even among the most restrictive and dogmatic religious groups, there are differences about what the "holy word" really means and how to apply it.
There's a scene in "Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade" where Jones is trying to cross an underground chasm. The task seem impossible until he trusts, takes a step and realizes that something that appeared to be part of the distant chasm wall was actually a bridge, directly in front of him. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to show you that what you thought was an impassible barrier, is, in fact, a minor obstacle you can avoid or push out of the way.
That brings me to what you could call, three steps to the life you want: One, recognize that the limitations and obstacles that keep you down are not immutable natural law but are, in fact, mere assumptions that you have made or have been imposed upon you, and can be unmade or rejected whenever you wish. Two, learn to identify the specific thoughts, feelings, beliefs that are blocking you, and three, remove them. Sounds easy? Well, it is, abet a lot of work, but there are a few catches.
The first catch is that step one will probably require a paradigm shift in your thinking, which explains why so few of us figure this out on our own. And maybe that's why the self-help books out there never really confront beliefs head-on. Yes, they talk about "block" and "limitations," but they never address what they are, why their there, or what their function is. The most popular approaches I've seen either want you to "power" through them, in some fashion, or to paper over them with "positive affirmations." I like to compare beliefs in general to background apps on your phone, the more apps you have running, the slower and more unstable your phone becomes. Doing positive affirmations is like running still more "good" apps on your already sluggish phone to speed it up.
The second catch is that it's hard to keep the process going, once you get it started. To see why, lets do a thought experiment. Imagine that one day you realize that the wall between your kitchen and living room wasn't, actually, there. This is a surprise. You're not really sure why, but you just always assumed that there was a wall there and you walked around. You may have noticed that other people seemed to be able to get from one room to the other faster than you could, but you just assumed that they were "better" at that then you were.
Now this is a great revelation to you and you go out and tell all your friends, "Look at this great thing I've discovered," and what do they do? Some will look at you oddly and say, "How could you not know that?" Others will react quite differently, saying things like "What are you talking about? Of course there's a wall there! Everyone has a wall between their kitchen and living room." You won't be able to convince them no matter what you do, and if you persist in your "delusion" you will lose them as friends. Such is what happens when we embark on a new life: we get tremendous social pushback from everyone around us to remain the same, predictable, person we have always been. "Oh you don't want to do that, dear. I mean, what would the neighbors think?" You can pays yous money and takes yous pick of why our society is the way it is, but the fact is that our society would rather you be suicidally miserable than step outside of what seems a rather arbitrary mainstream.
So, once you achieve the paradigm of step one and manage to deal with the social fallout of step two, then, yes, it's simply a matter of identifying and removing the beliefs that are responsible for the blocks, obstacles, procrastination and self-sabotage we deal with every day.
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