The Tyranny of They

I had another dream last night. This one had two characters in it that I'm sure I have used before. It makes me wonder how many times we dream and re-dream with the same characters and stories, perhaps trying to get it right? Something to think about.

This dream was a kind of late '70s retread. It took place in a fancy and spacious mall, on the top floor, near a railing and set of escalators leading down. It was a large open area, like a food court, with nobody else around.

The characters were a man, a woman, and me. The man was some kind of minor super-villain and the woman was his lieutenant. She was about 40-ish, tough, attractive, in that super-villainess sort of way, and was trying to persuade me into doing something. The man was short, maybe 5'3, older, well built and dressed, in a '70s way, in a colorful, long sleeve shirt and slacks. The woman was also dressed colorfully and well.

The plot of the dream was that they had been leaning on me to stick to the rules and do what they wanted. But I had decided that I had had enough. I wasn't afraid of them any more and I could do what I liked. To prove it, I managed to get up behind the man, grab him under the arms and swing him around and around in a circle. That's were the dream ended.

As I said, this feels like I've dealt with these two before and this was the conclusion dream where I stand up to them, stamp Paid on their bullying and am now free of their intimidation. The meaning of this dream seems pretty clear, unlike most of my dreams. Those two people represent all the people and institutions have been afraid of most of my life. You know, them, they, some people, the adult booggy-monsters of today's world that some people trot out whenever they think your getting out of line.  As in "They won't like that." "They won't approve." "They will get your fired or ruin your career." Or my personal favorite: "If you say that some people won't like it, not me of course, but some people...  you know."

Most of my life I never questioned the wisdom of them. They were just always there, all around me, like when I wondered if they liked me or not, or did I say the wrong thing and upset them. It's bad enough when others do it to you, but it's so much worse when you do it to yourself. You internalize this fiction so completely that you never question whether they, in fact, exist, and you never think to wonder how do you, or anyone, know what they want, and don't want, anyhow?

I puzzled over this for a long time. It seemed to me that the rules that everybody knew, were completely arbitrary and changed wherever you went. If there were definite, unquestionable rules of behavior, why didn't everybody know the same ones? Then one day the answer emerged, there are no rules, and the people that are telling you what they want or what some people will think or do, are pretty much making it all up. Of course, they will deny that, six ways from Sunday, and they actually believe, on some level, that out there, somewhere, there is some great book of Da Rules where every correct behavior is codified and cross-referenced, and their version is the only correct one.

With freedom comes responsibility. (Where have I heard that before?) Knowing all that stuff in made up makes you free to make your own choices. You get to choose what makes the most sense to you, and you get to change your mind whenever you want. That know that last bit sent chills of horror down the spine of every right-thinking authoritarian: "How dare you change the rules! Rules are rules! You can't just change them whenever you want!" They hate freedom.

The tyranny of they. The use of an unnamed, unknowable, authority to lend credibility to whatever is said. Recognize that for the empty noise that it is, and you unshackle your mind. Allow yourself the chance to see and understand what truly is, not what the narrow-minded want there to be.