Today was a downer. Not to say I didn't get anything done: I did yard work in the morning, worked on the hatch in my daughters bedroom and spent a few hours on a project for USGS, but I was haunted all day by a feeling I almost can't put a name to. Call it hopelessness.
I spent a lot of time working on this post, and got nowhere because everything I wrote was depressing, downer stuff. I couldn't think of anything else to say. Finally, in late afternoon, I gave up and laid down for my daily meditation, and, of course, there it was! Why don't I talk about that, it's so obvious!
I can see how that I was caught in a kind of reality-warp, where everything was, well, pointless. Trying to look on the good side of anything was a struggle and felt phony, and, at the same time, it didn't seem like I was depressed or anything, I was just "being a realist." It's also interesting that I kept putting off my meditation. Like there is some part of my that knew it would make me feel better and did not want that to happen. That is something I will meditate on soon, for there is definitely something to discover there.
Now to the fun insight that I managed to "forget" all day. I was reading Dolores Cannon's book "Between Death and Life," and I was at the section where she first discovered her first case of what they call "walk ins." I have heard different explanations of what these are and why they happen, but this one is the clearest and makes the most sense to me. Her clients told Dolores that when a spirit feels overwhelmed and just can't handle any more life, it can request a substitute, and a replacement is found to take over for the rest of that humans' life. This is considered infinitely better than suicide.
The cover for the exchange is sometimes a serious illness, where the person is "never quite the same afterwords," but it doesn't have to be. The new soul is "briefed" with all the proper memories to make the transition as smooth as possible for the physical person, and it takes on the obligation of finishing up whatever tasks the first soul leaves unfinished. There's more to it than that, but that's a basic outline.
So what's that got to do with me? I discovered I am one. (Or have one? This brings up a lot of fascinating questions about the nature of conscious that I plan research when I get the chance.) It happened when I was in my early twenties, at a time that I have long noted as a distinct inflection point in my life. One day when I literally woke up one morning and thought, for no apparent reason, both that everything was different, and that my life, up until that point, was a continuous, pointless, slide into oblivion.
No, everything wasn't a bed of roses from then on. After you spend ten years dutifully flushing every opportunity down the toilette, it takes considerable time to clean up the messes you've created and undo all you've done. It was also hard because I didn't understand what was going on. I had no idea what was happening or why or any methods to effectively deal with it. And for this I blame our "Woo Woo" averse culture where everything to do with the mind is either a religious matter or a mental malfunction. Otherwise, there would be a lot more information about these kinds of things and help for when they occur.
Is this particularly significant or important? Not really. Will it affect my life in any way? Probably not. It's just interesting in the way it explains stuff I've seen and opens the door to more questions and explorations. Like when you read about trees and soil conditions and you go, "So That's why leaves turn red in the fall!" It just allows me to understand things a little bit better, which makes life a little more hopeful.
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