Today I talk about the last part of my QHHT session, the part when I was taken deeper into my subconscious. I don't remember all of it at this time, and now that I've "accidentally" deleted the recording, (My recorder gives everything a generic name, and when I thought I was deleting a client's recording, I apparently deleted mine, since the client's recording is still there.) I'll never know exactly what I said. Even though I think I remember, I'll never know if I'm wrong or what I'm leaving out. In any case, here is what I remember.
When I was asked what my purpose is, and how I was to fulfill it, I was overwhelmed with sadness and despair. I saw people, lots of people, trapped in a huge black hole. A hole filled with pain and misery and ignorance. They are trapped there and they don't even know it. I cried at their pain. I knew I was supposed to help them, but I didn't know who they were or how I was supposed to do that.
Then I saw a second group of beings(?) that I called "They." "They" didn't want me to function. "They" don't want my subconscious to communicate at all, and do everything in their power to prevent it. They screwed up my face and convulse my body, they'd twist and distort my face and lips to keep the words from coming out. "They" are powerful, but not overwhelmingly so. I can get past them but it takes considerable effort, and I can work up a sweat. "They" were generally successful at blocking answers to my medical questions.
That's pretty much all I remember. My feeling is that the people in the black hole are people on this planet. Who or what are "They?" I have no clue. But I've felt their influence since I first start meditating, many years ago. I have frequently bounced, shaken, vibrated and convulsed whenever I got near important events. In fact, that has been one of my markers for what things are significant, the more violent the reaction, the more important the thought, incident, belief must be. One typical thing for me is to get gobbledygook for answers when I ask questions. I used to assume that I wasn't getting any answer. Lately it's become increasingly obvious that I was getting answers to me questions, they were just garbled into incomprehensibility. Now I know why.
After the session, I slowly began to notice differences. Small things. It seems now that when I close my eyes, I can see farther and clearer than before. Everything looks a little different and that's very cool. The other day, when I asked about a pain and had a immediate response and healing, that's new. Something has definitely changed. It's very subtle, it's like everything has shifted, ever so slightly, into a new perspective. Some things are more interesting, and some are more boring. Some things more important, others, less. Shifting priorities can be unsettling so I'm glad I have time to get ousted to it.
I know from experience that this pretty newness will eventually wear off and become the new normal, but for now: I have a shiny new world to explore!
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