Quick Post

This post is going to be short. I am so tired, I haven't slept in two days. There's this pressure at the back of my head that won't let go, it seems connected to stress. My stress in "coming out" to some of my relatives. Coming out spiritually, no, I'm not gay. It is interesting to have a debate via Facebook. One, it's essentially public and the entire transcript is always there. I'm not sure if that is the main source of the stress, but it's a big part of it. Right now I'm going through something that leaves me light-headed most of the time, I have trouble wanting to eat, and I seem wired and hot all the time. That's what makes sleeping so hard. I seem to function well enough, though.

I want to have some rest today, but I either make this post or I lie down. I tried lying down but I couldn't relax, it's like I have something I need to do. You know, it is like I have something I need to do, I just have no idea what it is. Today I went to help paint sets for a show I'm in, but it was hard to leave home because I have this feeling that I need to stay home for some reason.

If anybody has any idea what's going on,  I sure would like to know. My metabolism is so high that I wear as little as possible and still my family complains that I keep the rooms too cold. It's not like a hot flash, it's 24x7 under all conditions. The pressures in my head fluctuate and move around and make it very hard to concentrate on anything internal. Focusing on the external world, working with my hands, works pretty well. But the moment I try to relax, turn inward, it all flares up and drives me to seek distraction.

Hey subconscious, if there's something I need to do or know, tell me already! Please give me a break.